You do
Wed Oct 10, 2018 14:12

In the first instant, Claudia regretted her revelation. Connor’s reaction of discomfort was easily observable in his flushed cheeks, and the uncharacteristic ineloquence of his next uttered syllable. Claudia wondered whether she should move her hand from his. She didn’t know what she had been expecting to hear in return, but surely more than a meaningless sound should be forthcoming.

It was, indeed: Connor returned similar sentiments. While smiling, Claudia blushed and lowered her eyes. She felt marginally lightheaded, but, unusually, she decided on this occasion it was a pleasant sensation. She knew that Connor held her in high regard - he would not have invited her to visit over the summer, if that were not the case - yet she had not dared to believe he cared for her beyond a firm friendship. Claudia exerted a gentle but firm pressure with her hand on Connor’s to reassure him she was not affronted by his confession. “I am flattered by your attention,” she said softly. Even if she knew nothing further would come of this moment, it had given her brief pleasure to realize her feelings were not one-sided. This momentary joy would sustain her as they inevitably continued their familiar - purely platonic - friendship. “I regret any discomfort you have suffered as a result.”

Whilst occasionally Claudia felt that Dardanius had freed her from society’s restraints (a few minor indiscretions in her part were nothing against a family member conspiring to overthrow the patriarchy), more dominantly she felt the restrictions more keenly; to secure a positive future for herself she needed to be desirable despite her connections: a paragon of perfection. So even should she feel so inclined, Claudia could not be like Marley and date with no consequences; she could not be like Danny and disregard these consequences. Concordant with this reality, whether he was aware of Dade or not, Connor could not afford to deviate, either.

Claudia envied Marley, and she envied Danny. She thought of Nolan and Magdalena, who would make a suitable match, and she envied them, too. She consoled herself that in the future she would - hopefully - be happily married, but that did nothing to sate her current yearning. She heard Holland’s words echo, ‘I think you have problems with how your society works too.’

She tried not to think about Holland or Danny, Marley, Nolan or Alena. She thought about what she wanted. Claudia wanted her first kiss to be with someone who cared about her. She wanted it to be with Connor.

Connor had said, “I know it is not a sentiment that can be realistically acted upon.”

“I expect it would serve us best to behave as though this exchange had never occurred,” Claudia said, with a melancholy smile. “But first -” her heart hammered against her chest, “ - let’s act upon it just this once.” Before her more rational senses could prevent the action, Claudia moved her head and upper body towards Connor, with the express intention of pressing her lips against his.

  • Who knows? - Connor, Sat Oct 6 10:44
    It seemed as though Claudia was distressed, which concerned Connor. He always did his best to avoid his friend feeling in such a way, but the unfortunate circumstance of the school did result in a... more
    • You do - Claudia, Wed Oct 10 14:12
      • I certainly do now - Connor, Wed Oct 10 18:56
        It was common knowledge that the way to cast a Patronus Charm was to focus very hard on the happiest memory you had. Connor had absolutely no intention of getting into an argument with a dementor in... more
        • Aren't you glad - Claudia, Mon Oct 15 09:53
          Personal space was a sacred concept to Claudia. She disliked being touched by most people, and was distinctly uncomfortable when strangers moved too close. There were few with whom she was prepared... more
Click here to receive daily updates