I don't deserve a prize
Sun Jun 4, 2017 20:55

Elijah frowned as the first word out of Francine’s mouth was a resounding yes. Almost as if he’d been burned, the teen began gathering his thoughts to leave the girl in peace when she countered her previous statement with a more confused sounding no. The Cetus paused, uncertain of what exactly the older girl wanted him to do, only relaxing when she clarified that she did want to talk to him. Before Elijah could open his mouth to say anything, Francine had launched into her own dialogue.

The blonde-haired teen blinked once or twice, snapping his mouth shut. He gave a nod when it came to who went first, although it was apparent that Francine actually didn’t give any mind to what he thought. Of course, Elijah could understand that. She had every right to talk first, considering he was the one who had sought her out. He sat there quietly while she spoke, noting each question and request in his head so that he could answer them. There was a short moment when he opened his mouth to respond, but the older Cetus had been taking a breath and launched right back into her monologue. That didn’t surprise him, but the tears that welled up in her eyes were. Anyone who knew Francine knew that she was emotional, but Elijah hadn’t realized how much the events of term had upset her.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out quickly when she was done, fingers reaching forward to comfort her like he normally would have before everything. Quickly though, he pulled them back. He still wasn’t quite so sure of himself when it came to stressful or emotional situations. He didn’t know the things that could flip a switch and turn him from a mess to an angry mess. Clasping his hands together slightly, Elijah looked at the ground. The sight of Rocky Mountain’s floors was quickly becoming a view that he was all too used to. He spent more time looking at it, than the person he was talking to. That was just another thing he was working on with Garen, but he wasn’t sure he could explain while looking at someone who was crying partially because of him.

“I’m sorry for everything,” he said again, more sincerely than the first time. “It wasn’t like I had anything against Lucien. I don’t. We got along although we didn’t see eye to eye on everything. I was already having trouble with outbursts when Camilla came to me and told me about the incident in the Diner. I wasn’t even thinking when it actually happened.” The sixth year knew that he was being vague about it, but it was one of those memories that made the edges of his vision swim in red. He took a few deep breaths, keeping himself calm as a precaution. “I snapped.”

Lifting his head, the blonde met Francine’s eyes. “I met my biological parents over midterm. My father, Benjamin –“ Elijah practically spat the name, feeling ire towards the man. “Had a condition. His records say it’s called Intermittent Explosive Disorder.” Just the feel of the words in his mouth put the teen in a foul mood. “It’s characterized by sudden episodes of unwarranted anger and reacting grossly out of proportion to any given situation. Apparently it’s possible that it’s genetic.” He sounded like a textbook, but it was the little that he knew about it. “I think that the whole thing. It just, it made me so angry that he would go after Cam like that. And the things he said to her… I couldn’t control myself and I didn’t mean to hurt him like that.”

Elijah bit off the end of his sentence. Even if he hadn’t meant to, it was something he had done. “I got sick after. And then again after that. And then everything got worse but that part doesn’t matter.” Swallowing roughly, he grimaced. All he could hear coming out of his own mouth was a line of excuses. Hadn’t he done those things with his own hands? Regardless of whether or not he’d been affected by IED, he, Elijah Carthy, had beaten someone. “As for telling you, well, how could I, when he didn’t? I wanted too. I wanted to tell you at the blind date dance that I was sorry and that I was afraid. That you shouldn’t have been having a fun time with me because I’d done those things to your boyfriend.” Another deep breath and a quick mental count to ten kept the teen from visible signs of distress, although his mind was a warzone. “I wanted to apologize to you for it and to him. Except, obviously, Lucien won’t let me within five feet of him.”

Ducking his head again, Elijah shook himself. “All I ever wanted to do was talk to him about why he’d done that to Camilla,” he explained, looking at his clasped hands. “But all I saw was red when I looked at him. I’m so ashamed of it, of me, and I hope, even if you can’t forgive me, that you can understand that I am sorry.”

  • Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize. - Francine, Sat May 27 01:46
    Oh. It was Elijah. Well, maybe that was a good thing. At least she didn’t really have to pretend there was nothing wrong. Elijah was smart enough to know she was probably upset, both with him and... more
    • I don't deserve a prize - Elijah, Sun Jun 4 20:55
      • You deserve more than you think. - Francine, Thu Jun 15 18:46
        She listened. Francine was pretty good at that, mostly because she didn’t ask questions that she didn’t care about the answer. She was very, very good at talking, but when she stopped, she listened,... more
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