Just delivering a message
Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:03

“Okay. So,” Holland started. Now what were they supposed to say? I know that you like me, and you and Marissa just broke up so now I can say something. I might like you back, but maybe I just think that I do because you said you like me. And your ex-girlfriend all but greenlighted me to act on the feelings I may or may not have. None of those words felt helpful.

Holland had been certain of their feelings in the middle of the summer. Then they’d had a lot of time to think about it, to look at all the angles, and they weren’t sure now. It would be inconvenient and confusing if it were true that Holland liked Danny, but this stupid Schrödinger’s crush was worse. Maybe they had only started liking Danny because he liked them. Was that bad? If they liked him at all, did it really matter why? Now that they had started thinking about him like that it felt impossible not to notice things that they genuinely liked about Danny—things like his ability to keep up with them in a debate, and his confidence, and his willingness to challenge his own beliefs. And he wasn’t lacking in physical charms either. Besides, it wasn’t like—well, it wasn’t like anything was going to change either way. “Then nothing,” and Holland didn’t think Marissa had been the only reason for that.

Right, it was their turn to say something. “You told me when you figured things out.” Holland suspected that Danny had, in fact, told them almost immediately upon finding out. Holland thought their timing was better, even if they were less clear about what they wanted to say. “I haven’t figured anything out but I keep thinking about you. So not that it changes anything, but I think I might like you the way you like me. Or the way you said you did in April, anyway.” Things could have changed since then. Although if they were working the theory that Danny had said something to Marissa, that sounded unlikely.

Maybe Danny hadn’t been the right choice of person to have this conversation with. But then again, who would have been? They’d tried a little bit with Marissa, Emmett would probably freak out and not help solve anything, and Rose and Holland didn’t talk about emotional stuff. Danny was the only person Holland actually wanted to talk to about this, and he was the only person left, and he had the potential to be the most helpful.

Only this didn’t feel like it was helping. Holland looked at the young man in front of them and tried to figure out what they were feeling. Nervous, because they had just told one of their best friends that they might like him. Foolish, because what were they doing. Hopeful? Not so much, but shouldn’t they be? Holland tried to imagine what they wanted to happen next and drew a blank.

This hadn’t cleared anything up for Holland, at least, and they doubted it was making anything easier for Danny. “Okay, I guess that’s all I really wanted to say. Sorry, saying something was supposed to help me be more sure, but I’m still… confused.” Holland winced. This was the point at which they had been hoping to feel better. Yeah, they really didn’t want to stick around for Danny’s reaction. They took a step back toward the door. “All right, well, I’m gonna go.” Holland made contact with the doorknob and started to leave.

  • Sure. What's up? - Dardanius Dubois, Wed Jan 24 06:20
    Danny was trying to decide if he still had the energy to go running or if he should call it a day and chill out in the commons instead. He had already done Quidditch drills earlier in the day; he’d... more
    • Just delivering a message - Holland, Wed Jan 24 10:03
      • Message received - Dardanius, Wed Jan 24 16:36
        Holland seemed rattled, which did nothing to abate Danny’s suspicions that something was amiss. He braced himself for the bad news. In hindsight, the revelation wasn’t disagreeable, exactly, but no... more
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