I think it got lost
Wed Dec 13, 2017 16:24

“Ruben knows things about me that you don’t because he needed to.”

What? Needed to? What did that - oh. No, that’s not what Danny meant. It, well, it might have been a part of it, but that wasn’t - why would that matter? Holland had always just been Holland, and that was fine, and why -? “That’s not -” he started, but then Holland said something that made every muscle in Danny’s body tighten in reaction.

“Entitled?” He repeated, sounding incredulous. “Nothing, I don’t feel -” he ran his hand through his hair; still tangled from the beach party, some strands caught around his fingers and he barely noticed as they tore away from his scalp. “I thought you might want - forget it.” He started pacing.

How could Holland could think this was about entitlement - was that how they still saw him? As the pureblood heir who just took what was granted to him and assumed more was due? Danny didn’t think he was like that. Maybe years ago he had been, but that was not who he was anymore. Entitled. He didn’t know whether he wanted to scream at Holland or to just walk away. He didn’t think there was a word Holland could have chosen that he’d have found more hurtful.

“You tell what you want to who you want,” he managed to reply at a level volume, though his voice didn’t sound steady, and that was infuriating, because it was ridiculous that he was having such an observable reaction to something so likely to be overlooked by anyone not in his position. Dardanius stopped pacing. “I’m not asking you to share anything you don’t want me to hear,” he said quietly to Holland’s shoulder, too hurt to look them in the eye. “I wouldn’t want that. I just - never mind.” If Holland didn’t want to tell him stuff then obviously they didn’t have to. This was stupid. The point of his argument had gotten lost somewhere and Danny didn’t know how to find it again.

“Right. Whatever. Obviously we’re not in a relationship, and if that’s what you need to be open with people then I guess there will always be someone who knows you better than me.” That was almost sad to say aloud, but then it was, after all, one of the benefits of being in a relationship with someone: you got to know them better than anyone else. And that was his objection to Ruben, and that’s why they were arguing, and they seemed to just be going in circles. Danny’d had enough.

“Look you dragged me in here to get me to stop interfering with your life, and you’ve got what you wanted, okay?”

  • I must have had one - Holland, Wed Dec 13 15:28
    Are you kidding me, Holland thought, with an extra modifier in the middle of the sentence. They couldn’t believe Danny was dragging Marissa into this—that he was insecure because she’d slept with... more
    • I think it got lost - Danny, Wed Dec 13 16:24
      • I’ll organize a search party - Holland, Wed Dec 13 21:25
        Danny looked agitated now. He was pacing and messing with his hair and avoiding eye contact and not finishing sentences. The mood in the practice room had gotten tenser in the span of a few seconds.... more
        • Just tell me what to do - Danny, Thu Dec 14 05:42
          It sound like Holland was going to argue that’s not what they had wanted, but then they stopped themselves. Danny was exhausted. He felt raw and restless and he just wanted to go back to his... more
          • First we need a map - Holland, Thu Dec 14 12:27
            “ It doesn’t matter, ” Danny agreed. Holland exhaled, unnoticed tension leaving their shoulders. They’d known that. They knew Danny; it had never felt like that mattered, not since first year before... more
            • I found your map... - Danny, Thu Dec 14 16:47
              Holland apologized. Danny looked at them, and blinked. Why was Holland apologizing? Okay, they’d said some stuff that had caused distress, but Danny hadn’t apologized for the original grievance of... more
              • This is not the map you’re looking for - Holland, Thu Dec 14 21:01
                “ It matters because Ruben’s not the only one here who likes you like that. ” Holland stared blankly at Danny. For a long moment, they didn’t understand— who —and then the right neurons fired... more
                • Oh. Whoops. - Danny, Thu Dec 14 22:10
                  He had no idea what to expect when those words had left his mouth. Danny almost wished he could take them back, but the truth remained it was absolutely impossible he would be able to keep something... more
                  • Maybe a cartographer would help - Holland, Fri Dec 15 03:26
                    For the first time in this entire conversation, Danny said exactly what Holland expected him to. “ Then nothing. ” That was the right answer, Holland thought, with something almost like relief.... more
                    • Do you know any? - Danny, Fri Dec 15 14:51
                      Holland didn’t sit with Danny, but they did move towards the door. For a stomach-lurching second, Danny thought they were just going to leave. He suspected both of them had considered vacating the... more
                      • Afraid not - Holland, Sat Dec 16 22:56
                        It sounded like Danny wasn’t going to get in the way if Holland wanted to flirt with Ruben again. Ultimately, that assurance was what Holland had wanted, although they could say with some certainty... more
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