Lease this WebApp and get rid of the ads.
Tom Gaumer
Ike Clanton and Wyatt Earp together attempt tree trimming in
Wed Nov 7, 2018 18:44
2600:8800:7a88:8d00:a802:a2e7:a070:8b16

Tucson today.

The cast:
Wyatt Earp played by Tom Moy
Ike Clanton played by Tom Gaumer

The scene: The alley behind Ike’s co-op in Tucson. Wyatt is trimming some branches to make it easier for cars to get down the alley with a really tiny trimmer from Ike’s silly tool collection. Ike is moving some larger rocks off the surface of the alley to make it easier on tires of cars going down the alley.

Ike finishes and comes to help Wyatt but Ike is cutting larger branches and basically tearing the hell out of the tree rather than Wyatt’s more benign trimming. As the work continues ike gets more and more ambitious in his cutting. Taking off two larger limbs he feasts his eye and then his saw on the top of the tree. Wyatt continues to trim somewhat grateful for the help but increasingly concerned the tree won’t make it through Ike’s rather generous applications of the saw.

Ike finally cannot stop himself from cutting off the top of the tree. After all it is only 15 feet above where the cut will be.

The tree is pressed against the cinder block wall along the back of the yards of the houses south of the wall. Thus the pressure from the wall will theoretically push the top of the tree into the alley and Ike expects to be able to dodge the falling 150 pounds or so of tree.

Wyatt is not paying the attention to this procedure that someone should who wishes to reach his full potential age.

The tree top falls over the wall and into some ones back yard. It hits something unknown. Ike attempts to pull the tree top out twice unsuccessfully and then suggests to Wyatt that they should run away.

Wyatt says no and insists they both try and pull the tree back over the wall and into the alley. They succeed. Ike still wants to run away as they do not know what the tree hit and how much damage has been done and whether anyone was killed or crippled or merely enraged and going for a gun and or a police person. Wyatt, guided by the fact they heard no screams, somewhat crisply gathers the tools and cleans the immediate area before somewhat rapidly moving on to new conquests.

From Wyatt’s lawyers diary we have this from Ike’s answers to deposition questions.
Q Was it your opinion that under no circumstances could the top of the tree go over the wall?
A Yes Sir.
Q. When did you know it was going over the wall?
A When it went by my face a high rate of speed on its way to the wall.
Q Were you afraid?
A Terrified.
Q Were you concerned for your own life and/or Mr. Earps?
A Mine
Q Why did you suggest the both of you run away?
A In order to escape blame for any damage to life or property.
Q Who cut the top of the tree off
A Lightning
Q Who made it fall over the wall?
A Wind
Q Why did Wyatt refuse to run away at first?
A He failed to grasp that there might be extreme damage in the yard and he is a dumb ass.

Wyatt Earp on the subject:
Q What would you like to say about this incident?
A When you see a dumb ass with a saw in his hand run early rather than late.

Q Were you afraid when the top of the tree cracked and then fell?
A I felt I would soil myself until it went over the wall.
Q Did you help Mr. Clanton pull the tree back from over the wall and why?

A Yes. I felt we would be better off to leave the tree in the alley rather than mostly over the wall. I did not know it had hit something. My past collaborations with Mr. Clanton have been equally unrewarding. He sincerely believes Mexican cattle on his land are illegal immigrants who forced there way onto his land. He is a moron with a grasp of reality that is not to be admired.

    • Let me guessJerry Prather, Thu Nov 8 10:05
      Tom, Did you go trick or treating on Halloween dressed up as Ike Clanton? I can see it now - "All I want is four feet of ground. Now hand over the candy or I'll chop down your tree." Your... more
  • Click here to receive daily updates