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DC's rebooting Superman...
Fri Sep 30, 2011 06:57

Below is what I assumed happened at DC...

Bullpen meeting at DC discussing the 52 reboot...

"...So it's agreed, we change Superman's costume."

"You know Dan, Marvel made a lot of money with that Iron Man movie. There's gotta be a way to spin some of that our way without being obvious."

We'll make Superman's suit armored,"


"...And we'll lose the red trunks! That oughta get a lot of attention!"

"Hey!... I got one!... Stilettos!!!... We change his boots to high heeled Stilettos!!!"

"That's pushing it Eddie..."

"Yeah Eddie, that's kind of a stupid idea..."

"OK smartass, let's see YOU come up with something."

"Ok,..Lets make his belt red,...Hey!, and let's make it look like a utility belt thingy! Batman sells pretty good, it'll put people in mind of Batman, we'll sell more comics!"

"That's just plain stupid!"

"DONE!...Shut up Eddie, it's a great idea! We're making some progress here!"

"I never liked you Bob!"

"Who cares, You're an idiot!"

"Shut up you two, FOCUS! What else? Any more ideas?"

"Make Superman's face boyish...Like Superboy. We might draw in some kids with cash in their pockets..."

"I don't know, ..Sounds kinda thin to me."

"No wait a minute, Matt might be on to something there, We'll make ALL the DC heroes look like kids."

"Oh Crap.."

"You say something Bob?"

"No..No, I'm cool."

Ok, that about does it for Superman's look..What about supporting characters? Anyone have any suggestions, any changes they'd like to make?"

"I don't like red hair.."


"I don't like red hair.."

"What the Hell are you talking about?"

"Jimmy Olsen!..I don't like the red hair, freckled face look. My wife has red hair. I can't stand her!"

"Ok, Jimmy's hair is brown now! Anything else?"

"What if we give Lois a Sinead O'Connor look?...Made her bald?"

"Boy, you're really behind the curve on this stuff, aren't you Eddie? We've already discussed that option in the last meeting...The one YOU missed! We're saving the bald Lois bit for further down the road, if and when sales decline...We planned it to coincide with her personal crisis of feeling like a man trapped in a woman's body series"

"Man, THAT oughta sell some books!"

"Yeah, we're gonna be leading edge from now on!"

"Well, that oughta do it for this meeting gentlemen! I think things are really looking up for DC!...Let's go gettem'!"

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