Great Work
Tue Sep 11, 2018 07:22

This is outstanding.

What I love about this is its scale. It’s small and intimate; you aren’t glossing over the details of her duties but revelling in them, exploring each interaction almost minute by minute and dealing with the program for what it is on a daily basis. Every nuanced look, the details in what Ten feels, how she behaves, what she’s thinking with every run. Maybe I’m a sadist, but I enjoyed seeing the strictness and disdain from someone like Carol and the harshness of the protocols front and centre in a story. To me there’s drama in the clock, in being put in the impossible situation of being on a deadline but needing permission to be excused, trading humiliation for time.

There are some incredible mailgirl stories by many awesomely talented writers, and I do not mean this as a critique of them at all as I think there is an allure to write about the girls in their private time, exploring the sociology of the locker room, or some scheme beyond the setting (Which are all perfectly compelling in their own right!!). But this is refreshingly engaging for me because I think you demonstrated that there’s no need for a gimmick or twist, no need to focus on special events or things happening in the locker room to create a compelling drama; there’s captivating stuff happening every minute of every day for a mailgirl and just getting inside her head can be an incredible story in itself.

The high pressure environment of a trading floor is the perfect set-up for both the program and a story; a room full of people clamouring for a place in a hierarchy determined entirely by your financial success, our mailgirl was once embroiled in that struggle but failed and fell. Now she is just an observer of it; bizarrely free in the knowledge her place is at the bottom of the pile… juxtaposing herself with and as office equipment (even internalising this by giving the photocopier a name over her number).

Personally I’d love to see this continued at this pacing and level of detail, keeping my fingers crossed for more.

Great work.

  • 9:25am - A Mailgirl's Story (2nd half)sbjdaniels, Tue Sep 11 00:13
    (I didn't realize this got cut off) My ninth delivery, “M. Pederson - Workstation 76 - Floor 10” was a kid I did not recognize. Caucasian, brown hair, glasses, couldn’t be a day over nineteen. He... more
    • Please let there be more!!Anonymous, Fri Sep 21 04:53
      I keep checking back to see if there is another part posted. This is so good please continue!!
    • Please write moreAnonymous, Sat Sep 15 15:31
      Such a good start and I agree with SliceReality that this can be real good just by following the rest of her day. Good work
    • Re: 9:25am - A Mailgirl's Story (2nd half)arthwys.badon, Tue Sep 11 14:24
      Nice story! I love reading about mailgirls, especially the mailgirls universe developed by Seahawk, where it stays within the ENF/CMNF concept (including some light humiliation) and doesn’t move too... more
    • Great Work — SliceReality, Tue Sep 11 07:22
      • Re: Great Worksbjdaniels, Tue Sep 11 20:26
        Thanks Slice. Fortunately I'm standing on the shoulders of giants as far as mailgirls stories go. I don't have to explain what a mailgirl is our why its possible because Seahawk and LizStanton have... more
      • I agree with Slice...diffAnon, Tue Sep 11 19:48
        This is very well written. I love the detail, "Kyle". :) Looking forward to more!
        • great writing!ReaderMan, Wed Sep 26 22:17
          I also agree with Slice.
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