Never too late
Fri Jul 20, 2018 22:50

The words Drew was saying made sense but also the words Drew was saying made no sense. Dade just didn’t understand it. Why would you prefer to wear guy clothes all the time? Sure, Dade didn’t - no, that was a lie. Dade hated the clothes he had before Holland had stepped in. But the clothes he was wearing now, the clothes Holland had gotten him to buy weren’t girl clothes. Well, they were girly-er. Holland was of the questionable opinion that clothes didn’t have gender and that Dade’s clothes were Dade’s clothes, but Dade still wasn’t sure how much he bought into that. Holland was who they were, of course, but that didn’t mean that clothes had no gender. Holland made their outfits in ways that weren’t really like a boy or a girl, Dade supposed, but they had boy and girl parts. But overall, Dade could say that even with the clothes he’d gotten with Holland, sometimes he’d still prefer to be wearing something more like the dress-up outfits he wore with Madeleine.

Plus if Drew really didn’t want to wear girl clothes ever, what did that mean? Dade didn’t want to think that Drew’s point of view was normal, but who else was he going to ask? And Drew didn’t seem to think it was super normal to want to wear girl clothes, even though he said it was okay. And he had two dads, and they were even gay which was the sort of person that Dade was pretty sure was most likely to wear the wrong clothing anyway. Uh oh. Dade was really anxious now.

He was so anxious it wasn’t even really a relief when Drew said without hesitating even a little bit that he’d still be friends with Dade if Dade were a girl. With an unsettled stomach, Dade realized he shouldn’t have said anything. He was weird and Drew was going to think he was weird and then not be friends with him, and then Dade wasn’t going to have any friends at all at RMI and if Drew wasn’t his friend that would be worse than just regular not having friends because it would be Drew, not just anyone, that he wasn’t friends with and that would just be so, so bad. His vision started to get watery again as he tried to focus on breathing and closing his eyes and then

and then Drew was saying more things and it was terrible.

“I don’t know,” Dade said quietly, curling in on himself, then realized that he’d said something he didn’t want to say and, logically, said it again but louder. “I don’t know, okay? Stop being so nice at me, it’s stupid and this doesn’t make sense. Just stop, okay?” He shoved himself away from Drew and turned his head away so that Drew wouldn’t notice that he was embarrassed and kind of teary-eyed and frustrated and more embarrassed. This was so stupid. Why were they in the middle of Defense class and not somewhere reasonable like the dorms where Dade could just stalk into his room and close the door and be left alone? He didn’t even know how they’d gotten to this point of the conversation, just that they really shouldn’t have. Dade really wished he could disappear.

  • It’s a little late - Drew, Fri Jul 20 19:07
    Drew was honestly so relieved that Dade wasn’t actively arguing with him anymore that he almost missed the question. It was a question literally no one had ever asked him before, and Drew didn’t know ... more
    • Never too late - Dade, Fri Jul 20 22:50
      • Never say never - Drew, Fri Jul 20 23:57
        There was this thing that Aaron did sometimes if he got too overwhelmed or if he and Dad were having a Serious Conversation: he would turn into his animagus form, a border collie, and hide under... more
        • Hypocrite - Dade, Sat Jul 21 08:03
          More than anything, Dade was annoyed. He was annoyed at himself for saying things that were confusing, he was annoyed at Drew for being nice and for saying things that made Dade say confusing things, ... more
          • Grump - Drew, Sat Jul 21 12:11
            Drew couldn’t help it: he jumped a bit when Dade smacked the table the first time. He wasn’t as startled when Dade did it again, but he was expecting a third hit and felt a little lacking when there... more
            • You're not wrong - Dade, Sun Jul 22 09:10
              The last time Dade had been uncomfortable in Defense Against the Dark Arts, he had walked out of class because what was the professor going to do, stop him? And what had actually happened was Claudia ... more
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