Re: Passover Story (part 3)
Fri Mar 26, 2021 20:29

Before ground could be broken on the temple, exact instructions were given on the the dimensions of the rectangular enclosure that would store the newly-received covenant. After all, the written word is holier than holy in Judaism, from SJ Perleman to Lenny Bruce to Woody Allen (whoops, we forgot he’s been cancelled). Before the religious accelerator i.e the temple could be constructed, a miniature version would have to suffice and the people would need to obey the divine laws plus a lot of fine print dealing with property, slaves, and justice (an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a schnoz for a schnoz, but those can always be surgically amended). There were many precise instructions that were downloaded to Schmoses on the mountaintop including the exquisite gold craftmanship of the proposed ark, the type of gopher wood needed for the supports—a very very special wood, you can’t get wood like this any more, I’m telling you, it’s that special, (either acacia or cypress depending on who you ask), and the golden cherubim that were to be placed astride the golden seat of ‘responsibility,’ not a throne mind you, we won’t forget our modesty. Not to mention, the screen or veil that Schmoses would wear around town thenceforth, only removing it within the temple, the incense that would burn within the holy sanctuary and the fine linen of the priestly caste. As we mentioned before, G-d is everywhere but his presence was magnified within the temple, which is why today even touching the Western Wall, for that is as close as Jews can still come to the holy of holies, is a major experience. For Schmoses’ brother Aaron, a breastplate was specially designed containing a precious and unique gemstone to represent each of the twelve tribes that descended from the twelve sons of Jacob—(where my ladies at?) Needless to say, this whole vision for a community and society was so detailed it could only come from divine revelation. They say that the golden ratio and the corresponding secrets of the number Pi are locked into the rectangular proportions of the ark and were similarly enshrined in the configuration of the temple grounds, courtyard, and and inner-sanctum where only Aaron and his priestly offspring would be allowed to enter. Who thinks of all this stuff? We do. That’s who.

Schmoses people would also have to honor creation by resting on the sixth day and the sixth year. It was a whole way of life. A way of reaping and sowing, of harvesting and saving, of planning and investing—but no usury, we don’t stand for that. Interest free is the highest mitzvah there can be. And most importantly, the history of the exodus from New York would need to be honored and remembered. A holiday would need to be created. A holiday to remember our enslavement and relive it each year. Eight days to restore humility in each of us and to remind us about the true meaning of liberty. We can do everything we set out to do. Everything under the sky and moon and beyond—within reason, and without excess, keeping the faith and honouring the generations before us while educating the generations that are to come.

In terms of the Seder, we’ve covered everything but the seder plate which I’m sure you’ve read about and are eager to get back to. Next year we will delve further into the secret meaning of the scriptures. We’re going fractal, zooming into the Zohar and careening straight into Kaballa. We’ll also discuss the promised land, who promised it and to whom and how virtual currency translated into physical real estate.

Until then, Baruch Hashem. Have a happy Pesach! Keep it kosher.

  • Passover Story (part 3) Redjeans, Fri Mar 26 20:26
    Now we come to the part in our story where the Ten Commandments are handed down but we’re being careful not to tell you too much about what happens afterward... When it comes to Passover the line... more
    • Re: Passover Story (part 3) Redjeans, Fri Mar 26 20:29
Click here to receive daily updates
Alpha... Delta... Gamma... Everybody’s smoked.